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Journaling
As I read back over my journal for the winter of 2006, I am impressed at the hours and pages I devoted to pouring out my feelings at that busy time of my life; and realize how valuable those hours and pages were at the time, in helping me to process my feelings, and are now as a record. Especially for me, being blessed with a brain that holds onto memories like a sieve holds water. If I didn’t have my journal, I would have forgotten this particular day in January. . .
Walk With Me
No one can walk the road for us. But they can walk beside us, and what a difference that makes!
This happened over thirty years ago, but it has stuck with me. One winter morning when I left my apartment to walk to the bus stop, I was surprised to see a line-up of idling cars on my normally quiet side street. Up at the intersection, I saw the reason for the unexpected traffic jam: there was a man trying to cross the street, and he was stuck. . . .
“Unequivocally”
Our dog died of pneumonia in the winter of 2016. Let that one event stand in for all the happenings of a season that felt uniformly grey and burdensome. On April 20th, I wrote in my journal: “I am so utterly depleted!”
After pouring out my feelings in my journal that day, I called my husband at work. I told him I wanted to get away for a week - a writing retreat. We talked about what that would look like, and I finished off the conversation with, “Just a wild idea. Think about it for me.”
He responded immediately: “I’ve already thought about it. I think you should go.”
Two weeks later, the first week in May, I found myself alone . . . .
Two More Words
“I’m sorry” implies empathy, and empathy is powerful.
I received a wide variety of responses when I told my friends about my miscarriages. They ran the gamut from “You wouldn’t have wanted a handicapped child,” and “It’s a good thing, actually. Mother Nature takes care of the ones who can’t survive,” through “Oh well, I hope you can be as brave as someone else I know,” to a friend who hugged me and wept and just said, “I love you so much!”
Between 2005 and 2008, I lost four tiny babies to miscarriage. In an effort to help others who may be experiencing similar losses, I want to share the story of that journey. If you click on the title above, and then follow the “Next in Miscarriage Journey” links at the bottom of each post, you can read through my story sequentially.